This is an article that I wish would never have had to write.
I have always defended the right and duty we have to fulfill our dreams without depending on what society tells us, happening you to be a man or a woman.
How often did you heard that we are weaker, that we can’t walk alone, that traveling alone is dangerous and a long list of etceteras? I grew up in a culture where these things are often said by people around you and everywhere in the media, so much that I almost believed it.
I have started traveling alone around the world when I was 18yo and now after about 20 years of solo traveling, I can say, fortunately, I have always had good experiences. Call it luck or extreme caution … because that is, unfortunately, the topic of this article.
Although it’s still very hard to accept, traveling as a woman is different, just the fact of being a woman puts us in a different situation.
The reality is even living as a woman is different from living as a man in several topics.
In some countries, you will have to follow certain rules just for being a woman. This can range from the clothes you should or shouldn’t wear, like in India, and most of the Muslim countries, being allowed to go to certain places, or not to go, like in Bali or Thailand where you can’t enter to certain temples just because you are a woman as menstruation is considered impure.
Sometimes you get lots of unwanted attention just because you are different, in India for example, this means endless selfies petitions from every other person you cross, or in Chile getting catcalls from every other man on the streets.
The fear of sexual harassment and raping is always there. I can bet a man has never been afraid to walk down a street in daylight while a woman is walking near him, or traveling at night on a bus or train and not being able to really sleep because he has to worry about being touched while he sleeps, or to talk to a woman and fear that all that good vibes are just to try to have sex with him… or to be afraid of being raped in that same situation.
The annoying and sad reality is some people –specially some men- in certain countries think we are an easy target and they will find an opportunity to try to take advantage. They see you as more vulnerable and if you are not aware and you just trust kindness and good gestures you could be involved in an awkward and even potentially risky situation.
At this point I have to consider myself unfortunately lucky, growing up in Chile created big awareness for this topic. Even if it’s generally a very safe and easy country to be, I have had really bad experiences, especially when I was younger. Have being touched on the bus, on the streets, having men being sure they will have sex just because you were nice and smiled to them, being yelled on the streets and outside constructions, and I could follow with this list forever.
It’s unfortunate to have lived this, but at the same time having the experience of this prepared me for traveling abroad, I knew how to read men and how to keep myself away of unsafe situations. The cost? I rarely trust people to be honest, and I kept myself safe during traveling thanks to this.
Although it hurts to accept it, traveling and living as a woman is still different. I have to write this article because I feel it is my duty to tell you that there are situations that happen every day around the world and the only way to defend yourself is to be aware of and be able to avoid them.
Just because things can happen I can’t tell you enough how important is to travel with Health and Travel insurance, sometimes shit will happen no matter how careful you are and being in a foreign country can turn very expensive when you need to visit the hospital. I can recommend you WorldNomads if you travel longterm, IATI is also a great option with good prices and SafetyWing is one of my favorites now, you can pay monthly and manage the countries you are visiting in a second, plus it’s one of the few covering the US for decent rates, CHECK HERE the best plan for your next trip.
I still believe solo traveling is one of the best things anyone can do to develop themselves, but it needs a certain amount of caution to do it safely and to have nothing but great experiences.
Real Stories from Real Travelers
I have asked other travelers who kindly shared their bad travel stories so you can have an idea on how things are developing in the bad experiences stories and you can be aware of them to keep yourself as far away of them as possible.
When kindness is not always meaning the nicest, Andaman and Nicobar Islands, India.
While traveling solo as a woman you might face many risky or dangerous situations on the road. As a solo traveler, I’ve also encountered many awkward situations which turned into a risky one sometimes but was lucky enough to handle those in my way with a bit of wit and common sense.
Here I’m sharing one incident which happened two years back at Radhanagar Beach in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, India. The reason is not creating fear but to create awareness and helping to prevent this kind of unfortunate situation.
Two km long Radhanagar beach is located on Havelock Island and one of the most beautiful white sandy beaches in India. Better to inform every beach here is pristine and got thick woods of Mahua trees. In the afternoon I was alone and walking on the beach. There were some other tourists too and enjoyed swimming and sunbathing.
I wanted to see the sunset from this beach. Suddenly one guy came near to me and offered to have a tattoo. He was interested in showing me the tattoo design book. I directly told him that I don’t keep any interest in tattoos. However, he seemed like interested in talking while I was walking… “So, where are you from, are you single here?” He asked. I replied I’m single and from Bangladesh. He laughed and replied “Oh Bangladesh, so you are Bengali, you know I’m also Bengali. “
I found he looks all good and sounds friendly as well. Then came to know he is actually from Kolkata, can speak in Bengali and also Muslim. He is a tattooist and since long staying and working in Havelock Island. While walking, he also helped me to take some photos and recording videos. Moreover, he told me there is one beautiful point here from where I can enjoy the extreme beauty of the sunset. He sounds trustworthy, though I could not see his eyes as wearing sunglasses.
Otherwise, I might understand a bit about his main motive by looking at his eyes. He accompanied me to walk till the end of the beach and then he insisted me to enjoy a walk inside the dense forest. He told there is one shortcut beautiful walkway and still, time is there for sunset.
So here is the mistake I did by trusting him a bit more than necessity. He was right walkway is there. I was walking first, and he was behind me, after a bit all of a sudden touched me intimately from the backside and offered to have sex. He told it is all ok, nobody will come here, and we can enjoy. He sounds like before that also he did the same thing with some others and it’s quite normal here.
Thank God, without getting afraid I sounded very normal that time and handled this dangerous situation. I just first softly removed his hand and with a firm voice, I said “Listen, I’ve trusted you, and not everyone is the same. I don’t want you to force me for this.” He didn’t and neither he could as he is not a local. He didn’t want to create any scene, just wanted to enjoy a bit to fulfill his nasty desire. Moreover, I knew very first of the day here in the island rules for the outsiders are very strict, and permitted papers must be with you as long as you’re on the island.
He then just left the spot, and I started walking alone and came back to the hotel after watching the sunset. To be noted, after evening no one is allowed to stay on the beach. Well here is the funny part. I was checking all videos and found that guy while recording with my camera focused the lens on my body too from top to bottom. Though I was in a jumpsuit…. LOL
You can easily recognize such situations. When someone suddenly come up so friendly, don’t allow him to do so. It’s better to strictly avoid, as you can see it is hard to understand the actual motive of any guy. Don’t accept any alluring offer.
It is good to trust, but sometimes it is not, as it is hard to read the mind. However, I found it is easy sometimes understand the eyes. So, look at his eye first, eyes never lie. Never show that you’re getting afraid or became scared even you know the situation is dangerous. Be bold inside to handle the situation. Though you’re alone if possible, don’t let it understand you’re so. Here in that incident, I should say I’m not single, just enjoying a walk as my partner is swimming.
I took the lesson from the above incident. I didn’t stop traveling alone, and the Andaman and Nicobar Islands is still my top favorite destination in India.
Read more about Nafisa’s experience in her Travel Blog: myownwaytotravel.com
When an offer to help has no good intentions in Paris
As a 30-something world traveler, I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about the threats that can be encountered while traveling, but for 17-year-old me, it was a different story. I was on a study-abroad exchange in Mulhouse, France and was desperate to see Paris. Originally, my host family had offered to take me to Paris as a family trip, but all these impediments kept showing up making it hard for us to all go together.
Determined not to miss my chance to see Paris, I convinced both my host and real mom to let me go by myself, but only if I stayed with a colleague of my host mom. Under those provisions, they both reluctantly agreed and I boarded a sunrise train to Paris, arriving 5 hours later in the iconic Gare de L’Est.
Teenage me felt ecstatic and empowered. I photographed landmarks, figured out how to use the Mètro, and froze my butt off drinking a coffee on a too cold térrace in December, but it didn’t matter because I was at last in Paris.
Prior to leaving, my host mom instructed me to be at her Parisian colleague’s house no later than 7 pm, because he lived very close to the Barbès métro station which became very dangerous after dark. Emboldened by my afternoon of exploring the City of Light by myself, I delayed arriving in Barbès until the last possible minute and descended the stairs of the station around 6:30. This was long before the days of Google Maps and WhatsApp, so all I had was an address handwritten on a piece of paper to guide me to my homestay for the night.
As I walked from the station, I passed a group of young men hanging out. I saw one of the men tap the other and gesture in my direction as if to say “follow her” while walking be. The man began following me which made me quicken my pace. As I sped up though so did he until he was right behind me and grabbed the address out of my hand. “You’re going the wrong way” he said. “This address is over here”. He pointed to a road adjacent to the train station.
Despite having sufficiently freaked me out, with that he handed me back the address and stopped following me. So I took his advice and turned off my course to take the road that he recommended. At first it seemed fine with lots of street light, people about, and open shops so I continued walking in that direction, but eventually, the street became dark, with no one around and no more shops.
The whole thing struck me as wrong and I panicked and ran back to the busy corner. There I found of all things, a Korean luggage shop where the shop owners spoke English and told me that the house I was looking for was just around the corner, in the direction that I had already been walking before the man who followed me turned me around. To this day, I can’t help but think that he and his buddies were up to something nefarious when they tried to send me down that dark street. I feel like they were waiting for me in the darkness.
To avoid a similar situation, I would recommend always trying to get to your destination before dark whenever possible, having at least a general idea of where to go whether that’s by way of a hand-drawn map or directions on your phone, and most importantly always trust your gut. Mine kicked in a little late in this situation, but I’m very glad it finally did.
You can read more of Thea’s travel at her blog zentravellers.com
A Creepy Hotel Owner who threatened to Kidnap in Udaipur, India
First off, let me tell you this: I love India and met so many incredibly helpful, caring and wonderful men and women in this beautiful country. However, I had an experience there that unfortunately overshadowed my trip to India.
I was staying at Panna Vilas Palace in Udaipur. After returning from exploring the city on my first day there, the hotel owner approached me in the lobby, asking if everything was alright in my room and if I needed anything. We started talking and I told him that I am a travel writer and if he had any recommendations for hidden gems, great restaurants and picturesque places in the city. He told me that I should definitely check out Monsoon Palace, especially during sunset. He then offered to take me there and show me some other cool spots in the city afterward. As a travel writer, this is not uncommon that the hotel owners want to make a good impression and offer to show me around the city, so I accepted.
While we were in public at the Monsoon Palace, the hotel owner was nice and we chitchatted about this and that. I told him about my husband and he shared that he is married as well. When we got back into the car and it was getting dark, he started making inappropriate remarks and comments to me that really freaked me out. He kept on asking if my husband and I have an open relationship and how many adventures I had while on the road. He then told me that he practices an ancient ritual that requires him to put his hand on my heart to feel my pulse, so he can look into my soul.
He also said that he wants to take me to the spa at another hotel and get me a massage, so I can loosen up before… and that, unfortunately, he couldn’t give me a massage himself, or I would get too excited. He kept on driving around the lakes in Udaipur through some pretty dark and remote areas, sometimes even off paved roads.
There he said several times that he will kidnap me now and that I should admit that it has always been my fantasy to be kidnaped by a handsome stranger. He also said that he has a strong character and if he doesn’t get what he wants, he will just take it.
I told him several times that I am not interested and kept on talking about my husband and asking questions about his wife and asked him to take me back to the hotel, which he finally did after driving around for about 30 minutes.
When we came back to the hotel, I barricaded myself into my room, as it was already late and dark and I knew he was at the front desk. I checked out early the next morning and went to a different hotel.
You can read more of Maria’s bad experience here tripadvisor.com
About an almost stolen luggage in Paris Metro
When I was in my 20s, I was traveling back to the US after 6 months in Spain. I decided to stay in Paris a week, lugging a heavy backpack and suitcase with souvenirs: colorful Spanish ceramics, a couple of bottles of wine, and even some olive oil. Burdened down with such a load, I was stuck in the metro.
To go up the escalator, passengers had to lift their bags over some bars meant to stop carts and strollers. As I struggled to lift my bag, a kind gentleman grabbed it and offered to help me. As soon as he had it clear, he began to walk really fast.
Thinking he was stealing my precious gifts, but cumbered by my own substantial backpack, I half chased after him. He led me through the crowd and went through a door, a hallway, and finally into a desolate parking garage, where a car was waiting for him.
Luckily, an elderly couple was getting out of a car with a driver, and parked in front of them, blocking their exit for a minute. I loudly asked him to give me my bag, and he was startled a bit when the other driver got out of his car.
Lessons learned: never let someone help you with your bag. If someone does take something of yours, it’s not worth it to follow them. Stay in areas with a crowd of people, and yell loudly if you feel unsafe.
You can read more of Becky’s travel at her blog kidworldcitizen.org
Unfortunately women have to be twice as careful as men, in my case I use my intuition a lot.