You have probably heard about the tragic murder of two Argentine women traveling in Montañita, Ecuador. This article arises from a concern for which there is still no general consensus. Yes, you’ve read the title well, I didn’t change my mind and now believe that women should not travel alone.

Part of what I read in the media was what led me to write this article. Many articles have addressed this issue and the fact that two women were the victims, in this case, means a big difference comparing with similar cases where men are the victims.

If you’ve read some of them you’ve seen the same as I did:

They were solo traveling

 

Why it is considered that two women traveling together, do it alone?

Let’s do some math:

A woman solo traveling…. does mean ALONE, if she’s traveling with a friend means: two women traveling together

1 + 1 = 2

 

It has been written from a position of criticism (as if we as women needed a chaperone to freely live our lives) plus insinuates victim’s guilt.

Hey! They are called victims precisely because of this: there is someone guilty of that act, guilty to cause harm to another, a victimizer that took someone’s life.

This approach insinuates that women are irresponsible to travel alone without a man or more friends who accompany them and what bothers me is the treatment given to these unfortunate and sad situations, which hopefully will not happen anymore.

It hurts to talk about the issue of violence against women as something caused by them, but keep it clear:

No woman is looking forward to being abused

 

It could have been a stranger, her husband or even a family member, but only fact of being TRAVELING was not what made them lose their life.

What took the lives of those women is not the journey outside their countries: it was someone else who did it.

Women worldwide suffer from physical and psychological violence every day by those who love and are terrified to report for fear of more violence. They fear that society will criticize them or find them guilty for having done something to provoke the attack, such as using tight clothing or too much makeup.

This situation negatively affects the welfare of women and prevents their full participation in society. Because, for example, for a woman being assaulted on the street also means probably rape.

Because to women, walking down the street means being constantly exposed to the possibility of catcalls and even someone touching you even in broad daylight.

Oh! You tell that to me! I grew up in Santiago, Chile, unfortunately, one of the countries where I have experienced this the most. A city where you can be on the subway or the bus and have a man masturbating over you ‘without you noticing’ (yeah…it happened to me when I was about 15 years), where you walk and men feel the right to tell you how much they want you or what they imagine doing with your body… and the saddest part is NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE or do anything, indeed, this is even considered normal, because “poor men, they feel desire”.

Even being 35 years old I have big trouble with accepting that the mere fact of being women should limit our actions and our decisions, from things as basic as the clothes we wear, because that could mean being raped around the corner.

Gender equality

Since childhood, I grew up with the firm idea that humans are very similar and we have more or less the same ideals of life: to be happy.

Over time I’ve learned that, although in general this is so, there are many people who will not share your world view and your values about life.

Despite all the information available today, humans still have a very limited way of thinking. While biologically men and women are not equal, we should have the same rights in the society in which we live.

I am concerned for example that even today in the 21st century, we have to talk about equality and today there is still a huge gender gap that we live daily even by most independent women.

– We still have a lower salary than men doing the same job in big companies.
– We still have to think twice before to wear that small short or paint our lips with that wonderful red lipstick
– We still have to think three times before taking another beer at the bar if we are alone.
– We still have some fear when we go into the crowded subway or a taxi late at night.

How can we make those men understand  that women have a right to respect, and above all, have the right to decide about their bodies? How do you tell them they don’t have power over us if even governments or religion says that women can not decide on their bodies?

Perhaps this would change if we began to do things differently. If instead of educating girls to be ‘princesses’ we educate men to respect women because they are human beings just like them.

A beautiful example is coming from Herbert Bautista, who determined that the city of Quezon in the Philippines would be a safe city for everyone, men, and women and is part of the campaign of the UN Women ‘HeForShe’

Looking for adventure

Many times we witness many acts of generosity and kindness while traveling and we suddenly lose reference to reality. We forget that not all beings are good and trustable, perhaps we trust too much…but don’t take my advice so seriously… I’m extremely suspicious… and this is how, until today, I’ve always had only good experiences on the road.

I understand that when you’re traveling, adventure is everything. We are willing to do things that maybe we would not do in our homes or in the place where we live and sometimes while traveling we risk too much.

Unfortunately, I think that to live in this wonderful world we have to adapt a little bit and although I would prefer the world being a 100% safe place we have to see reality as it is: there are bad people in the world.

Then, in the search for adventure, perhaps would be wise to be a little cautious when we travel and reminding the key is prevention. For example, I WOULD NEVER enter a car’s trunk when hitchhiking… but because I am claustrophobic and I’ve seen too many horror movies.

When traveling we are exposed to situations that shouldn’t represent a risk, but sometimes they are.

 

Solo traveling does not involve bigger risk than leaving your home every morning

Despite all I would like to believe that the world is friendly and all beings seek love and brotherhood, this is not even close to reality. We should all apply some common sense when traveling, having a balance between the intense desire for adventure while keeping us healthy and alive, especially while traveling.

This should not be a topic just for women, men are also exposed to danger when they travel and security while traveling shouldn’t be a gender issue. I think any traveler is exposed to danger by the mere fact of being out of your comfort zone.

Most of the problems that we are exposed when we travel have nothing to do with gender, many times this have more to do with people making bad decisions or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and this can happen anywhere in the world.

So to enjoy the route we must be realistic: as a woman you have to take more precautions than a man if you are solo traveling.

Yes, because although we don’t like (or even hate the idea) there are men who have been brought under a macho culture. In many parts of the world, they believe they have power over women’s bodies by the mere fact of being men.

 

 

The primary travel safety rule should be:
DON’T DO SOMETHING YOU WOULDN’T DO AT HOME

To make the trip a meaning only having enriching experiences and not get paranoid overthinking and feeling everything is a danger or everyone wants to harm us, we must learn to be cautious.

But it’s also very important to enjoy the opportunities along the way. Traveling with caution doesn’t forbid you to accept the invitation to have dinner with that family, or to refuse the help someone genuinely offers you.

Each trip will give you more experience and criteria to determine whether a situation is suspicious or not … and most importantly: ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INTUITION. When you feel that something is rare, it probably is, if a situation makes your stomach hurts, get out of there as soon as possible.

Over the years, I have created my own rules for when I’m solo on the road and so far it has worked. I was lucky on my first trips when I was daring much more than I would now, but because I’ve seen a lot in the world I have become a bit more cautious, but still having really good times.

The purpose of travel is to become aware of the differences, to learn about others traditions, beliefs and to experience them with respect.

Always remember that we are guests and visitors of the destinations we travel, we have to be mindful of local customs, because although it makes 40 degrees in India, you can’t wear that comfortable mini dress, or in Turkey it would not be seen so positive if you go to the mosque without covering your hair, or while in Thailand you want to get and take a selfie with a Buddhist monk.

“Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends” – Maya Angelou

Don’t let anyone tell you can’t travel alone because you’re a woman

Don’t let anyone tell you that because two girls had a terrible experience you are going to see your travel dreams unfulfilled

The harrowing experience that other women have lived help us to remember that we must be careful

That all violence that other women have lived remind us that we are entitled to go into the world and we don’t NEED anyone to join us while solo traveling.

The main thing is that fear does not stop you from following your dreams

#WeGoSolo #Niunamas #ViajoSola